November 14, 2011

Again Jesus said,
“Simon son of John, do you truly love Me?” He answered, “Yes Lord, You know
that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of My sheep.”

John
21:16 NIV

 

November 14, 2011

Since a lot of people are asking me how I do what I do, I want to give them an answer. I do because Jesus asks me to. It is that simple. There is nothing in me that wants to do what I do. Just today Gary gave me the
scare of my life. He told me that he wanted to sit and read the Bible and drink coffee while I ran on the treadmill. So I went downstairs for 30 minutes. When done I went to the study where I left Gary. There was the Bible open and on the desk, coffee still in the cup and Gary not there. I looked around the house, I
called his name. No Gary anywhere. I looked outside and noticed the garage door was open and I ran out there quickly and found him raking the leaves. I explained to him that he should tell me before he goes out so I don’t worry. I bring him in and we get breakfast. When I am done I go upstairs to fold the laundry and get ready to shower. I go in the bathroom and just as I turn the water on I get a sick feeling. I come out, call for Gary, no answer. I think okay, he went out the garage again and so I look out the window and the garage
door is down. I call out again, again no answer. As I run through the house nightmares flash in my mind. Is he dead? Did he wander off? Is he hurt? I run outside and I don’t see him in front or back. I scream out his name like a crazy person and he answers me from the side of the house where he is raking.

How do I do this? I don’t want to and I do this awful. It took 10 minutes for me to calm down. Through tears I explained to him why I was scared and now angry. Gary still can’t understand logic so when I got done he
simply said, “I wanted to rake the leaves.”  Signs go up today on the doors that will read: STOP-TELL MICHELE YOU ARE GOING OUTSIDE. I know one day we will be able to take those signs down but for right now they are there for my sanity and his safety. I will put those signs up because I just put the keys near the doors so Gary could get out if he wanted to. Each day he improves and that is good, but still
today he is not ready to be unsupervised. Therefore, today I have to be on top of things. I have to make sure he is safe. I will do what I have to do. Not what I want to do, but what I must do. I will do it even though I don’t like it. I do not like being his guardian. I would rather be his wife. This day God has called me to be his guardian and his caregiver, so my plan is to glorify my Father in heaven by doing it well.

Peter is the disciple who denied Jesus three times and this is where Jesus asks him three times, “Peter, do you love Me?” When Peter says he does, Jesus tells him, “Take care of My sheep.” That is what Jesus is asking of me. You see, I do love Jesus very much and I do want to do what He asks me to do. I know that means some days will be hard and I won’t want to follow Him, but I will follow Him because I love Him. Jesus has asked me to take care of Gary and as difficult a job that it is, I will do it because it is Jesus who
did the asking.

What is Jesus asking of you? Is it hard? Would you rather not? Jesus understands! Do it anyways, because it is Jesus who is doing the asking.

This is what I do and this is how I do it, and this is how you will do it too.

Update: The signs are down and Gary is actually telling me before he goes out. Thank You God.

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