Esther 6: 1,2
On that night the king could not sleep, and he gave orders to bring the book of records, the annals, and they were read to the king. It was found written how Mordecai had told about Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s eunuchs, who guarded the threshold and who had conspired to assassinate King Ahasuerus.
At the end of chapter 5 in the Book of Esther, Haman goes home elated that he got to have a banquet served to him by the queen and to share with the king. He is even chosen to do this auspicious honor one more time the following night. However, as he leaves the palace he passes by Mordecai and his hatred for the man rekindles within him and he builds a gallow to hang Mordecai. We then get to chapter 6 and discover that King Ahasuerus has insomnia, so he does what all of us do when we can’t sleep he calls for a boring book. As the book is read to him something very interesting pops out and grabs his attention and that is the story of how Mordecai uncovered the plot to kill him, tells Esther and the king is saved. There is no coincidence when it comes to God.
It is exactly for this reason that I am having us record the events of our lives. I promise you that the more you journal the more you will discover that God does prepare you for the trials in your life. Mordecai overhears a plot to kill the king and that is pretty serious so he tells his cousin Esther the new queen who tells her new husband the king. The king can’t sleep after his wife serves him and Haman a dinner and requests a second night to repeat the feast. What kept him up was most likely the thoughts racing through his mind. This king was very clever and he would have known that Esther was being strategic. All that thinking jumbled his brain and he couldn’t find rest. Do you see the hand of God in all this? Can you see how God had Mordecai over hear the plot? Honestly, any person could have overheard but only one person was needed to fulfill God’s plan. The king not being able to sleep is God working to pull all things together.
We don’t always catch these moments in our lives. Sometimes we remember them and can go back and see the hand of God. That usually happens in the joyful times of our lives. That seldom happens in the trials. That is because we are so focused on the pain of the trail that we turn inward and internalize our pain. We forget to push those feelings out and towards God so He can help us get through them. That is why it is imperative to stop and journal so that you can keep a record that serves to reveal and teach you where God is in all of that mess.
Back on July 7, 2011 when I woke up and found Gary dead my entire world flipped upside down and it really seemed like my life was being emptied out. The way I pictured it was the way a woman takes her purse and empties the contents. That is how I felt my life was changed, suddenly and messily. What I am doing is going through some journals from before hand when life was good, Gary and I were happy and planning a long and fun life together. I am discovering that God did prepare me and not just for that one day but for all the days thereafter. You will discover the same.